Tips for dealing with homesteader burnout

At some point, even the most dedicated farmer may experience homesteader burnout. I certainly have! So I thought it might be helpful and encouraging to go through some of the ways we’ve been affected by burnout here on our homestead, as well as how we’ve dealt with it.

Homesteading has existed in North America since the beginning of our country. It used to mean that you could stake out a plot of land, settle on it and eventually, claim ownership of it. Now though, “homesteading” has come to mean someone who pursues self-sufficiently. Perhaps has animals like a dairy cow, goats, chickens, etc. Utilizes gardening, preserving and canning. And unfortunately, probably paid a pretty penny to do so.

Homesteading is a beautiful way of life, full of simple pleasures and tangible rewards. It takes us back to our roots and can be infinitely better for our health; reasons why so many people have gravitated towards this lifestyle. But in our modern era of social media and curated content, homesteading can easily be overly romanticized.

What does homesteader burnout look like?

I think homesteader burnout most commonly looks like questioning whether or not you’ve done the right thing.

For years my husband and I dreamed of being able to have enough land to raise animals, grow a crop and enjoy a quieter life. We wanted space for our boys to run wild and free, climb trees and dig in the dirt. In 2020, thanks to a crazy real estate market, we were able to trade our 1 acre property on a busy corner, for 10 quiet acres just 11 miles down the road! Our new property had a cottage, three barns, an old fruit orchard and space for everything we wanted to do. We were elated. Our dreams had come true.

How could all that possibly lead to burnout!? Sounds pretty dreamy, right? Well…here’s a few things that have gone wrong on the homestead over the last few years.

Things that have gone wrong on our homestead:

We tore apart the house and then ran out of money.

The 1800 sq. ft. cottage on our property was in rough shape. The kitchen had a wood-fire stove for cooking. It had been empty for some time and all the neighbors warned us of rodent infestations. It had stained carpets, 6 different types of flooring, a plastic accordion room separator, light fixtures on elastic bungees and homemade plywood cabinetry that was less than aesthetic.

When we got the keys, we demo day-ed our hearts out. My Dad, me and my husband worked tirelessly for 3 weeks to clean up the destruction, install new floors and put together a makeshift kitchen. Move in day came far too soon, and since our house was still a construction scene, we simply piled all our possessions in the front room. I’ll never forget my sister-in-law walking in during the moving process and with a horrified look on her face, going, “Oh my.” It was my first- but certainly not last- moment of panic. “What have we done!?”

Shortly after the move, and thanks to quite a few unforeseen circumstances, we ran out of money for renovations. So not only did we move into a pit, we lived in that pit for over a year. It still hasn’t been long enough for me to laugh about it, it was insanely stressful and overwhelming.

An historic ice storm.

Just three weeks after we moved in, Oregon experienced an historic winter storm. We had a bunch of freezing rain that turned into solid ice the moment it hit the trees. Somehow the weight of the ice combined with the frigid temperatures caused trees all over the Willamette Valley to literally explode all through the night. We’re talking state-wide power outages, unbearably cold weather and no cell phone service. The four of us snuggled on a mattress in the living room, listening all night to the exploding trees all around us. I’ll never forget it as long as I live.

Not only was our house torn apart, now our property was too. We lost at least 30 large trees. My sweet husband was also forced to install an unplanned wood stove in our living room so that we could have heat and be able to cook during the 17 days without power. You can’t make these things up, my friends.

Land use regulations we weren’t aware of.

I’m not going to get into too many specifics, but after we purchased our property and began to look into crops we could raise for extra income, we found out about some land use regulations that hadn’t been disclosed ahead of time. Fortunately we can still grow certain things, but it definitely hasn’t been as simple as we were expecting it to be.

We had to dig a new well.

We moved to our property in January. Which meant that we didn’t realize until the warmer months that our well was incapable of keeping up with the demands of a busy household. That first summer I couldn’t water the new garden I’d put in, we couldn’t shower or do laundry at the same time, we couldn’t run the dishwasher and the sink at the same time. And deep in the heart of summer, the water we did have was a mere trickle.

As you might imagine, new wells are not cheap, nor had we planned for that expense. We had to dig down super deep, install an expensive filtration system due to the hardness of the water and add a water softener as well.

Animal misadventures.

On a lighter note, in addition to the trials and tribulations of remodeling, there have been some pretty legendary animal misadventures. For starters, we’ve lost at least 20 chickens to murderous raccoons. I even watched a hungry hawk swoop down into the front yard and try to snatch our feral hen Barbara. Luckily she wasn’t having it and fought him off. We now keep the few ladies we have left in a movable chicken tractor that we’re hoping is impenetrable.

My bees flew away. Of course being a new homesteader meant that I needed bees right!? Who doesn’t want their own honey? I bought a suit, ordered my bees and proudly brought them home to sit picturesquely in the fruit orchard. How romantic, right? Apple blossom honey, here we come!

Well, shortly after getting my bees, I got stung pretty bad in the throat. This shook me up and made me reticent to check the hive very often. Consequently, my bees swarmed into a nearby fruit tree. On the 4th of July, as we were showing some family around the property, the entire swarm dropped down out of the tree like a bomb, exploded into a cloud of bees and flew away across the fields. And that was that.

Our cows + goats escaped. We had been warned that goats were escape artists. And until we got serious about electric fencing, they certainly were. The thing about goats though, is that they can easily be lured home with grain. They are guided by their guts, lucky for us.

Cows however, cows do not care about your silly grain. Our first heifer- Licorice- escaped twice. Both times we were trying to move her to greener pasture, which she clearly did not understand. She went on a joyride all over the neighborhood- which in farm country means she went almost a mile. Both times required a 4-wheel round up, complete with neighbors, waving sticks and a lot of silly yelling.

Our bottle calf died. When we bought Licorice, our very first cow, we were proud as can be. Seeing a real live cow out there in the pasture was just so…pastoral! So when the farmer we bought her from offered us a bottle calf that had been rejected by his mama, we said, “Of course! We’ve totally got this cow thing.” For two months we mixed up milk replacer twice a day, hoofed it out to the pasture and tried to convince Hero, our bottle calf, to drink the thing. I shed more than a few tears early on trying to figure out how to get that creature to cooperate. Eventually he figured it out and so did I, and he was an absolute sweetheart. He and Licorice became fast friends and would play and scamper right alongside the three goats.

Most unfortunately, over Christmas break we went out of town. We left a family friend in charge of the animals, but there was a malfunction with the watering system and so our poor cows didn’t have water for way too long. Hero got sick. He lost the use of his legs, and though we had multiple visits from a vet, tried some physical therapy and uttered so many desperate prayers, my poor husband had to put him down. We shed some bitter tears that day, and it’s a lesson I won’t soon forget.

Remember your why.

Good grief, you might be thinking. Why didn’t you throw in the towel!? Oh I’ve thought the same thing my friends. Many, many times. I’ve gone so far as to look at real estate listings and make pro-con lists for why we aren’t cut out for this lifestyle. Because you know what? This homesteading gig is HARD.

It is not an easy way of life. There are constantly unexpected issues, seemingly impossible problems and endless amounts of mud. SO. MUCH. MUD. There’s never enough time or money. Let me say that again, THERE IS NEVER ENOUGH TIME OR MONEY.

So…why!?

For us, as my sweet husband has reminded me so many times, it’s about our boys. It’s about the type of life we are able to provide them by being here. A simple life of hard work alongside one another, facing challenges together, and providing them with the opportunity to learn so many skills at the core of being human.

Ways to deal with homesteader burnout

In addition to remembering our why, here are a few ways we deal with burnout when it creeps onto the homestead.

• Go slow. I have wasted so much time feeling pressure to get things done quickly. But in reality, we have the rest of our lives to “complete” or more accurately, “work on” our homestead. There is no timetable for finishing any projects, except that which we put upon ourselves. With my husband being a more than full-time farmer away from our homestead, the reality is that we’re only going to be able to accomplish a few big projects a year. Plan your projects, stick to your list and celebrate what you accomplish!
• Take a break and do other things. As I mentioned earlier, there is never enough time or money on a homestead. This can make it extremely tempting to spend all the time and money you do have, working on things. But guess what? The homestead ain’t goin’ anywhere. YOU need to. Each year we try to make an effort to get away and hike, go fly-fishing and visit family in Idaho, Montana and Arizona. Every single time we take a break and get away, I come back with fresh eyes and a renewed heart for this place we get to call home.
• Stick to your budget. This sounds so basic, but budgeting has been extremely helpful for us in navigating homestead burnout. Though it felt crazy to tackle getting out of debt while moving into a property where every square inch needs money thrown at it, it has been so good for our family. Not just financially either. Taking the journey to debt freedom while living in a place I want to work on so bad I can taste it, has taught me so very much about the value of things. It’s taught me to take care of the things I’m blessed enough to have, make the best of what I have right now, practice contentment with the way things are and cultivate gratitude for the amazing provision in my life.
  
  The projects we do now are planned, saved for and highly anticipated. And it makes the process so sweet and so satisfying!
• Partner up. More than likely you aren’t homesteading by yourself. I’m sure glad I’m not because goodness gracious has my husband had to pick me up off my face more than once. Sometimes literally. Having a partner who can keep the faith when you lose your way, who you can celebrate your victories with, or cry with when you have to shoot your dying bottle calf, is essential. This journey has brought all kinds of new challenges and growth to our marriage, and I am eternally grateful for the good man who holds me up when I stagger.
• Take photos! This might sound like the silliest thing you ever heard, but for me, having beautiful photos of big and small moments makes all the difference in the world. For some reason, when we go back and look at our photos from around the homestead, it is MUCH easier to see the beauty in it all.

Don’t beat yourself up

Here’s the thing, homestead life is hard. Like marriage, motherhood and family life, it can bring out the best…or worst in us. If you get burned out, it really is ok! It doesn’t mean you made a bad decision. It doesn’t mean you’re doing the wrong thing. It doesn’t mean you aren’t cut out for this life and that you can’t cut it as a homesteader. It simply means you are tired, likely spread too thin, are facing real challenges and are working your tail off.

These are all things my husband has said to comfort me in my many existential homestead crisis. And I’m writing this post so I can come back and read it myself the next time burnout strikes. It happens to everybody!

My favorite homesteader resources

There are an infinite number of resources for burnt out homesteaders in need of inspiration and encouragement. Here are a few of my favorite books and YouTube channels.

• The Elliott Homestead. I’ve been following Shaye online since she did a pilot for the Food Network so many years ago. I love everything she does (and that’s a lot!)- YouTube, blog, Cooking Community, podcast, you name it. As far as homestead inspo goes, I’d head to the YouTube channel. Chock full of good advice, experiences and inspiration.
• The Seasonal Homestead. Becky and Cam are funny, relatable and super inspiring homesteaders in Arkansas. I have learned SO MUCH about gardening, preserving and food storage from them. A must for any aspiring homesteader.
• The Family Garden Plan by Melissa K. Norris. This is by far the most comprehensive book on garden planning on a homestead scale. Beautifully done, easy to understand and a must to have on hand.
• Welcome to the Farm by Shaye Elliott. I’m double dipping in the Elliott Homestead here, but this a great book that covers all different aspects of homesteading. Animals, flowers, food and preserving.
• Simple Country Living by Annette Thurmon. I literally just got this book THIS WEEK, but you guys, it is BEAUTIFUL. I like my homesteading books to be useful as well as aesthetically pleasing, ok? From what I’ve seen so far, flipping through it during my son’s soccer practice, it’s absolutely phenomenal. Go check this one out!

Nobody suffers from homesteader burnout alone!

Will you help me share with other homesteaders that they are not alone if they’re feeling burnout? Leave a comment below if you’ve ever experienced any of these things and if you have any great tips for dealing with it! And don’t forget to pin this image so other homesteaders can find this post and be encouraged that they’re not alone.

Kali

I’m Kali. Oregon mama, farmer’s wife and creator of the Potager book and blog. Join me and as we cook and garden through the seasons!